Abortion Story: No One Knows You More



The message on the mirror was clear, I was not loosing weight; I was gaining it! Why? I had gone two months and I had suddenly become a mum- did I want it? Didn’t I? That I wasn’t sure- I just knew right now that because I had a hole in between my legs, it didn’t qualify me for every thing having a hole in between my legs was qualified for. But why do I have all these questions? I sat down to think. I wasn’t stupid; I was just as ripe as I could be. Ripe to use my guts, ripe to understand my body and ripe enough to know I had a decision I had to make and quick

Many people had won an award for writing poetry, articles, film scripts, so I guess many people wanted to become a writer or at least wanted to do something everyone would recognize them with. Who ever said we were all born to do the same thing? Aren’t we also better judging others? But yet again who made you a judge over me? I definitely don’t have an answer to any question except the ones I can answer.

Being in the doctor’s room that day made me realize even doctors don’t have an answer to every medical question- with his pink tie and his white shirt which was well ironed- making me think he was married, he asked- “Madam, aren’t you happy about the result?” He seemed so happy that I was pregnant- why I thought? But then he said,

“You should be happy you know, I had a couple in yesterday who want to consider adopting; people are looking for a chance to have what you have”

I could barely hear him anymore as I had a stream of thought in my head- the father was my boyfriend; yes I know it’s easy to say, why not tell him? It could lead to marriage? The problem here was, he wasn’t ready for marriage. He like many men had conceived that until they had millions, marriage or fatherhood was far from their plan. I didn’t even want to tell him because I didn’t want him to suggest abortion; I just felt if that the decision was mine, I would be more happy knowing it was mine than his as I thought if ever he was going to marry me, he would have. Its being four years already.

What then was wrong? I and the doctor had been friends, so my session was free- he had said it was entirely my decision and here I was thinking of the article I read on Facebook about the baby who was aborted- the images I recollect now were very plain.  The lady had taken out a lot of blood- apparently she didn’t know what she did was published. The doctor had given the pictures out and made himself the savior of the world, saying it was totally wrong for ladies to abort, even though he was behind it.

In all words, I wasn’t sure again what to do. I love my boyfriend and aborting the baby was also a risk to my life. I wasn’t sure of a second child, a love from my boyfriend, if he approved and I did otherwise, the security for my life on the operation table or even the surety of having another boyfriend if he left me. I felt like a fool, a child who needed a motherly hug and most especially the greatest sinner who wanted to take a life.

I didn’t know whose criticism I could face; mine, my boyfriend, the society, the couple without children or even the Almighty God? I looked at my doctor one more time and told him, I had no choice than to take it out and like any other, he did not argue with me- we went into the operating room and after about five hours, I received a slap from the nurse who woke me up- claiming she wanted to be sure I was alert. I came alert alright. I was given my prescribed drugs and as I went into the taxi, all I could wish for was for an opportunity to take care of a child. I had only given up this one for lack of finance and morality to give he or she the best; although people had every critical word to say to me, but I had taken a decision I did myself. I was not and am not perfect and like every lady like me, I would have the question of would I have a child again? I can’t undo some things, but I now know that its easier to admonish someone than it is to take the step yourself. Its easier to write a positive statement than to keep the positive thought.


3 thoughts on “Abortion Story: No One Knows You More

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  1. Very heavy stuff, for a moment I paused and asked if this is how it actually happens. The risk girls take for dudes dat probably don’t care or at best cross their fingers and hope she makes it; again, rili doesn’t make sense. They say it is love. love me arse! The image of Love has been tainted by man.

  2. It’s quite easy to judge single mothers and ladies who have gone under the knife till you are faced with the same situation. It takes only a broken condom, a malicious boyfriend, a depressed heart a night out gone wrong for you to be tossed into the same dilemma. I used to have a myopic view about abortion and single mothers till i have spoken to a couple of ladies.
    I think it is a brave decision to keep your child even when you don’t know if you are going to be able to care for them. I think giving up your child for adoption is not an easy decision when you know you may never see them again and deciding to go for abortion knowing you are taking a life and risking your life is a brave step. Abortion isn’t just abortion, ladies face a lot of depression after.
    Read more about abortion here – http://spiceplaza.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/costs-of-abortion/

  3. Im impressed, I must say. Seldom do I encounter a blog thats equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something concerning this.

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