So your boyfriend/Husband has a lot of female friends and this is a problem for you and when I say a lot, I mean he has a set of female friends who he gives attention to, may be not all the time but whenever he does, he talks and chats with them like they are dating or they have something going and of cause, this is something you don’t like.
Having this feeling isn’t a rare characteristic in relationships, in fact in a world where people communicate with each other regardless of time and distance (Flirting or Sexting), this issue is on a rise and many relationships, deniable or not, suffer from the idea that partners communicate with friends in ways that they communicate with each other when they want to play and flirt around with each other to keep their relationship going.
When things like this happen though, it is obvious that when we pay attention to those people our partners play with, it is because we are jealous, we feel a sort of insecurity and most of this is because we are in love. Being in love with someone makes one feel special, it makes us feel a sense of security and when those we feel it with do those things they do with us with someone else, our emotions run wild.
Now I will be crazy to tell a lady or a dude to stop feeling insecure and go on with someone else, or play along and pretend like what their partner does with someone else especially if it is something their partner can do with them has no effect on them but we are human and no matter the poker face we put on, seeing, reading, hearing the one you love admire someone else, share the same information they share with you with someone else is unsatisfying.
You may be the friendly one who just gets jealous, you may be the one who never cares what your partner does because he or she is just not the one, you may even find pleasure in what others don’t but no matter what happens in your relationship, being independent is something we always forget.
When we fall in love, we become unknowing fools, we plead with those we love, do to them what we never do to ourselves and do many unthinkable things and most sadly, we forget to love ourselves, we forget to value ourselves in turn making our partners devalue us, flirting with others and telling us they are on their right because we are not married to them, even if we are (sadly it happens) when in fact we should be receiving their love and compassion.
Being insecure is an emotion which can be controlled, it could come from a past event or a financial break down but it starts with a lack of independence. When we fail to take care of our selves first, we forget a whole lot more. You can’t become a person you are not because a partner forgets how to love you, you can’t stop living your life because someone else does not have a plan for you in his or her life. You cannot keep living in a past event when you should be moving forward. You don’t have to have numerous partners so you don’t become insecure because having numerous partners isn’t independence, you can learn to love yourself and live your life.
Men like independent women, they also like someone who cherishes them and never want to loose them, the only sad thing, is that when you act like you don’t want to loose them, they devalue you- so your best bet is really independence and again, never forget to pray to be involved with someone who wants you as well.