Relationships are hard enough as it is, there isn’t an easy one. Not even the ones you admire over the internet, have it all rosy. The older folks in it, get a pass mark at it for many things a book alone cannot explain. Gone are the days that everyone meant what they said and people said what they wanted from the onset. When words really meant something like a sincere promise. (Wonder what went wrong?).
These days, many are left broken by words and not actions. Yes, words never mean anything if there is no action, but people now say and don’t say things that shouldn’t be said and many are depressed over things they can’t even say. All just comes down to “words”.
Communication has amplified, thanks to social media but people are not really talking in relationships. Sex is so easy, and love is so hard. People begin having sex without verbal words. Some begin just with texts. People just don’t talk anymore, its like the world assumes a lot and the assumption game has brought many feeling foolish.
Many men assume every woman wants to marry him. Men, especially think every woman in her thirties is desperate. He is soaked in commitment phobia, he seeks only to speak about every other thing but marriage, so she never blames him for giving her the idea that marriage will ever occur. Many ladies assume a working class man is ready for marriage, as long as he finds a wife material. She then begins to clean, cook, shower him with gifts, get to know his friends, accept those she doesn’t like and more, thinking that he will commit eventually and neither of them get to talk of marriage. When they do, whoever begins the topic, seems like that is all they want.
When nothing happens and both of them fall apart, most of the time; someone is usually unhurt. The other person who is hurt is soaked in memories of sacrifices they made in other for things to work out. And a good friend or conscience would ask, “if you people never talked about marriage, why the pain and resentment”?.
Many people suffer from low self esteem. Some don’t even know they do. And that affects everything they do, even the relationships they get involved in. The fear of being alone often grips them and this makes them stay put in relationships that they should walk away from. Frankly speaking until you know who you are and how you want to be treated, keep to yourself. Other people getting into a relationship shouldn’t make you get into one.
It is true that people have bad alternatives that is why they stay in a relationship but it shouldn’t be so. Always love yourself enough to know I either receive what’s best for me or be the best for me. Many people search for Mr or Mrs right but truly many should understand by now that what that entails is what is right for you. By the way what belongs to another does not belong to you.
Don’t expect bad things to happen to you if that has been the case before. You should have faith and expect great things and not just random relationships. Expect that you will have a good partner and live in that expectation, so you don’t settle for less.
When our relationships come to an end, it is true that we think our time has been wasted but then a lesson has been learned. Because it did not end the way we expected, shouldn’t leave us unforgiving for the rest of our lives. We also had our part to play and we stayed put. Some people think giving their partners some space would have made the relationship better and sometimes it works so but then, nothing should place a whole in your heart. You had your role to play too. Truth is, you can stay hurt or move on and no, moving on doesn’t always mean finding another partner as soon as one comes along. You should always heal from one before going to another.
Some people don’t talk about anything, yet things happen. Don’t let your relationship define you. Sometimes the controversy of things isn’t that you talked about it or not. Its really how our emotions respond to things that keeps you there or not. For anyone who discussed marriage and it still didn’t happen, understand that your want and needs are different and everything can only be understood from a deeper point of view. In a lighter note, assumption has killed many, learn to know and love yourself first before getting into anything and however it seems possible, get your emotions out of the game and seek to understand a person before getting into anything.
STOP HURTING, STOP TOUCHING THE WOUNDS…The worse thing that could ever happen is sometimes the best thing. Not talking about marriage is usually better than talking about it and getting married to someone you wish you never met.